03 October 2003, fri. 10:59 pm

dear diary,

I'm missing a person who doesn't exist. My Prince Charming, my Sorata, whatever. My dream world's invading my reality. Fast. No. I have to stop it. There has to be a clear cut line. If not, my reality will fall apart again and my sanity will shatter... Maybe, all this is just the after effects of watching Moulin Rouge. How my real world cannot compare with a Hollywood screenshot. How I wish.

<3,
me

I wrote this entry in my personal diary (i.e. for my eyes only) 4 years ago, when I was 14 and idealistic.
Now one ex-boyfriend later, and currently with another boy, I think I've learnt something more about this little thing the world seems obsessed with: relationship.

There is no Prince Charming. Yes, there are numerous Mr. Rights (and Mr. Right-Nows, and Mr. Wrongs). But there is no one in the world who can actually be perfect. Only you can choose whether you want to love him despite his flaws.

Whenever we step into unknown ground, it's human to have expectations. And that's how it was with my first boy. I expected him to be sweet, I expected him to be there for me 24/7, I expected him to remember every single little thing I told him about me.
And now I realize it means absolutely nothing. I expect nuts from my boy now, and I'm pleasantly surprised everytime he does something unexpected.

Expectations, expectations. We all have lists of them. But if we were honest with ourselves, how many of the items on that list should we really cross off?
My rule is: If it doesn't add anything to your life, it's not worth expecting.

Carpe Diem. Try winging it sometimes.